


The ROTTMNT Group Chat Fic No One Wanted

by FaithfulAchates



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: I'm dumb and have no idea what I'm doing, groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-01-11 23:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18434522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaithfulAchates/pseuds/FaithfulAchates
Summary: Donnie: Has anyone seen my phone?Leo: yea i think it was in the kitchenDonnie: OkayDonnie: Wait





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm literally incompetent, and I have no clue what I'm doing. I've never written a groupchat thing before, so expect trash.

Donnie: Has anyone seen my phone?  
Leo: yea i think it was in the kitchen  
Donnie: Okay  
Donnie: Wait  
Mikey: lmao  
Leo: oof  
Raph: lol  
Donnie: This never happened.  
Mikey: too late already took a screenshot  
Leo: im framing it  
Donnie: I hate all of you with a passion.  
Raph: wow ur so nice  
Donnie: And no one tells April.  
April: im in the chat 2  
Leo: haha gotem  
April: f  
Mikey: f  
Leo: f  
Donnie: I can and will change the wifi password.  
Raph: ur my fav brother  
Mikey: >:o  
Leo: ur eyebrows dont look dumb  
Donnie: Flattery will get you nowhere.  
April: if u change the password and dont tell me ill drop kick you to jersey  
Donnie: I’ll tell you as long as you don’t tell them.  
April: deal  
Mikey: !!!  
Leo: april ur eyebrows are way better then donnies  
April: the truth will get you nowhere  
Donnie: I’ll have you all know that I have perfected the perfect eyebrow. I measure my angles twice and use a ruler to make sure I have optimal fleek.  
Raph: we all saw you watching youtube makeup tutorials  
Leo: ^^^  
Donnie: In that case, enjoy your last few moments with the wifi.  
Leo: i hate u


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo: ha even april knows earth be flacid

Leo: if the earth isnt flat then how come cars arent bent  
Raph: its 2 am  
Mikey: wait is the earth not round???  
Donnie: The Earth is not flat.  
Leo: sounds sus  
Leo: i dont believe u  
Raph: globes are round  
Leo: globes are just maps put on a circle and maps are flat  
Donnie: Globes are not circles, and the Earth is not a circle.  
Leo: exactly cuz its flat  
Donnie: The Earth is NOT FLAT.  
Mikey: how do u kno? loe gave a reason but u havent  
Raph: loe  
Leo: l o e  
Donnie: His reasons don’t make sense.  
Leo: its 2 to nothin rn  
Donnie: There are actual pictures of the Earth that show it’s not flat.  
Leo: photoshop  
Donnie: Magellan circumnavigated the world.  
Leo: hes probs not a real person and ur just making up words  
Donnie: You’re the one making up words. “Ur” is not a word.  
Leo: sounds like ur deflecting  
Mikey: tbh leo is more convincing  
Donnie: You can’t honestly believe that the Earth is flat.  
Mikey: he gave good reasons  
Donnie: No, he didn’t!  
Donnie: Raph, back me up.  
Raph: tbh at first i thought it was round...but leo is makin more sense then u  
Raph: and he countered all of urs so idk  
Donnie: All of you believe him?  
Leo: maybe weed believe u if u had proof instead of insultin my reasons  
Raph: that is how arguments work  
Donnie: What proof do you want?  
Leo: all im saying is earths flat  
Mikey: like u when u sing  
Raph: o dang  
Leo: that was uncalled for and frank lee im hurt  
Mikey: whos frank lee  
Raph: are u talking to strangers??  
Leo: not rn  
Raph: DONT TALK TO STRANGERS  
Leo: dont shout at me  
Donnie: You can’t shout over text.  
Mikey: cuz that wood be rude  
Raph: dont talk to strangers  
Leo: isnt everyone a stranger  
Mikey: wut  
Leo: like,,,we were all strangers til we knew eachother  
Leo: the only way to make some one not strange is to talk to them  
Leo: unless its don cuz hes still strange  
Mikey: heat up the oven cuz were havin a roast  
Leo: u cant see but im dabbin rn  
Donnie: I’m glad I can’t see that.  
Leo: ill send a pic  
Raph: plz dont  
Leo: wait ill just come to you  
Donnie: Stay away from me.  
Leo: h8rs gonna h8  
Donnie: Did you not have the energy to type out a four letter word?  
Leo: no  
Leo: wait member when i was talkin bout flat earth  
Raph: ye  
Mikey: ya  
Donnie: Unfortunately  
Leo: did i tell u guys about flacid soda  
Leo: like instead of flat soda it’s flacid  
Donnie: Do you mean flaccid?  
Leo: yea instead of sayin its flat  
Donnie: Did you know that carbonic acid is what waters down soda? When you open a can, the carbonic acid becomes carbon dioxide and water.  
Mikey: that made no sense  
Leo: lol when the acid kicks in  
Raph: y do u kno about acid  
Mikey: u just summoned mom raph  
Raph: im just making sure ur not like doin drugs  
Leo: nah fam im just dealin them  
Leo: y u want sum  
April: its a school night and ur all texting about earth being flat n shit at 3 am  
Leo: ha even april knows earth be flacid  
Donnie: Someone take his phone.  
April: k so im gonna turn my phone off  
April: none of yall get in an emergency between now and ever  
April: peace


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie: You just used fractions, and I’m so proud of you.  
> Donnie: Actually, I really want to take that back because you just said “gayaning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad y'all are enjoying this because I have no idea what I'm doing.

Mikey: nails arent that hard rite  
Raph: um whyyy  
Mikey: like if im hard as nails but nails always get bent when ur tryin to hammer or whatever then im not that hard  
Leo: i really want to say something rn  
Raph: no  
Leo: something  
Mikey: ur really not that funny  
Donnie: Mikey’s right.  
Leo: actually hes on ur left  
Donnie: Could you try not saying the first thing that comes to mind?  
Leo: do or do nut there is not try  
Leo: lol *not  
Leo: i like peanut butter cuz it has nut butt in it  
Raph: im allergic  
Mikey: then more for me  
Leo: tbh no one wants the peanut butter when u eat it with ur fingers  
Donnie: That’s really unsanitary.  
Mikey: im just protectin raph from the peanuts  
Raph: thx buddy  
Leo: he protecc he attacc but mos importantly he eat the peanut buter snacc  
Mikey: ngl ur memes are good sometimes but like chill out wit the memes bro  
Leo: all i read was my memes are good  
Leo: the freshest and dankest of all  
Donnie: Fresh and dank don’t mean the same thing.  
Leo: uh yea they do  
Donnie: They do for memes, but they don’t actually mean the same thing.  
Leo: u dont no how english works  
Donnie: Dank means wet and musty, and fresh means new. How do those mean the same thing?  
Leo: then my memes are wet and new  
Mikey: there really not  
Leo: like urs are better  
Mikey: uh huh  
April: my memes are the dankest  
Raph: ^^^  
April: im a meme queen and yall are lowly peasants beneath my feet  
Mikey: wow harsh  
Mikey: but true  
Leo: i thought i was meme queen  
Raph: nah ur just a meme  
Leo: :(  
Raph: :)  
Leo: ;)  
April: get ur winky faces outta here  
Leo: make me  
April: ill do it u kno i will  
Donnie: Please do it.  
Mikey: just to it  
Leo: dont let ur dreams be dreams  
Leo: throwback to when raph recited the entier thing to try to pump us up  
April: lmao whaaaat  
Raph: i was being inspiring  
Mikey: well...  
April: im sure it was inspiring af  
Raph: thx buddy  
April: np buddy  
Mikey: i thought i was ur buddy  
Leo: actually i was  
Raph: ur all my buddies  
Mikey: gay  
Mikey: *yay  
Leo: to late its already out there  
Donnie: I have already taken the obligatory screenshot.  
April: same  
Mikey: u know what i meant  
Leo: looks an awful lot like u thought our buddyship was gay  
Mikey: prolly cuz ur in it  
Leo: thats only 1 fith of it  
Leo: for the buddyship to be gay at least 3 people need to contribute to the gayaning  
Donnie: You just used fractions, and I’m so proud of you.  
Donnie: Actually, I really want to take that back because you just said “gayaning.”  
Leo: donnie makes 2 fiths  
April: excuse me  
Leo: ok ya our buddyships gay  
Raph: is buddyship a word  
Mikey: it is now  
April: anythings a word if ur brave enough  
Leo: anything has always been a word  
April: could u not  
Donnie: It hasn’t always been a word. There was a time before words.  
Leo: conspiracy theory noted  
Mikey: if there was a time b4 words then how did ppl communicate??  
Donnie: You don’t need words to communicate. For example, you could use body language.  
Leo: if ur so smart that u dont need words then try to communicate without them  
Mikey: i just heard leo scream and somethin crash  
Raph: k so donnie just threw a skateboard at leo  
Mikey: lol  
Mikey: wonder wut that means  
April: i wish i saw it  
Mikey: if he does it again ill record it  
April: plz do  
Leo: how about u guys try to stop him from killing me instead  
Leo: i’m holding the door shut but im pretty sure hes about to kill me  
Leo: hes not saying anything but i kno as soon as i open the door hes gonna do something  
Leo: its been 5 mins srsly someone help me  
Leo: i kno yall can hear me yelling  
Leo: i can see u guys read my texts plz stop him  
Leo: can someone like use my sword to portal me outta here  
Leo: ill give u a dollar if you help me


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April: wow thx man u just made me say dik during class  
> Mikey: f  
> Raph: f  
> Leo: f

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who still doesn't know how to write?

Leo: raph say kid backword  
Raph: y do u do this  
Raph: y are u like dis  
Leo: cuz im fabulus  
April: wow thx man u just made me say dik during class  
Mikey: f  
Raph: f  
Leo: f  
Donnie: Why are you texting during class? Don’t you want to learn?  
Leo: i mean she just learned what kid backward is  
April: were doin a worksheet rn  
Donnie: That sounds super fun.  
April: u would think that  
Leo: seems like a good time for the daly reminder that his passwords Bootyyyshaker9000  
April: an now u made me snort during class  
Donnie: Stop telling people my password!  
Raph: ...but its really funny  
Mikey: i still laugh everyday abt it  
Leo: same  
April: have u not changed ur password?  
Donnie: I like the one I have.  
Leo: now i can always log in cuz im never forgetting Bootyyyshaker9000  
Mikey: we should all have Bootyyyshaker names  
Leo: dibs on Bootyyyshaker420  
Raph: 9001  
Mikey: 9002  
April: its over 9000  
Leo: i was abt to say that  
April: well ur to slow child  
Leo: ...im faster than u  
April: shut up Bootyyyshaker420  
Donnie: Are we done mocking my password?  
Raph: yeah sorry buddy  
Leo: speak for urself  
April: oof gotta bounce  
Mikey: bye  
Raph: bye  
Leo: so i guess its june now  
Donnie: I wish I could turn back time so that I never saw that.  
Leo: to the good old days?  
Mikey: lmao that was pretty good  
Donnie: Don’t encourage him.  
Mikey: u cant control me  
Mikey: i do what i want  
Mikey: and rn i want pizza  
Raph: now i want pizza  
Leo: then get PREPperonied cuz were getting pizza  
Raph: how long have u been waiting to say that  
Leo: long enough to no it was a really cheesy joke  
Mikey: stop  
Leo: didnt mean to PUNish u guys with my awesome humor  
Raph: stop  
Donnie: I know how to hide bodies and destroy evidence.  
Leo: prove it  
Leo: wait pls dont  
April: im back  
April: oh wow  
Leo: hi back im dad  
April: hey d u said u could hide bodies  
Leo: ur all so mean to me  
Raph: sorry bud  
Leo: im like bud light but bud lit  
Mikey: y do u have so many of these  
Leo: cuz im witty  
Leo: and i have lots of alone time to ponder the inevitability of death and think of great jokes  
Mikey: calm down edge lord  
Raph: i bet u just look up jokes  
April: ^^  
Donnie: I can check his search history.  
Leo: jokes on u its cleared  
Mikey: y would u clear ur search history  
Raph: are u hiding something?  
Leo: no  
Raph: youd better not be doing anythin illegal  
Leo: im not  
April: tbh this entire convo is super sus  
Mikey: i think ds most likely to do somethin illegal  
Raph: none of us should be doing something illegal  
Donnie: I don’t know whether to be hurt or flattered.  
Raph: um y would u be flattered???  
Leo: kinda hurt that u think d would break the rules but i wouldnt  
Raph: thats not a bad thing  
April: please  
April: don loves rules  
Raph: rules r good  
Raph: they keep us outta trouble  
Mikey: rules r meant to be broken  
Leo: ^^^  
Raph: this convo is really goin down hill guys  
Donnie: That explains why Leo cheated during monopoly.  
Mikey: u cheated?!?!  
Raph: wait what?  
Leo: liar  
Leo: dons the one that uses all that probablility junk  
Donnie: Using probability is not cheating.  
Leo: i dont cheat  
Donnie: I saw you shuffle the deck when we were playing Sorry. You arranged the cards so you’d get the good ones.  
Leo: y were u watching me shuffle?  
Leo: thats cheating  
April: wait that one time that Leo drew a 2 first try  
Mikey: u did cheat  
Leo: i never win board games!  
Raph: that doesnt mean you cheat !!  
Mikey: bro i dont kno who u r anymore  
Leo: oh come on theres no way yall never cheated before  
Raph: i havent!  
Mikey: im jsut that good dood  
April: i mean like i did one time when i was 6  
Mikey: gasp even u?  
April: it was a long time ago  
Donnie: I require details.  
April: i peeked during heads up 7 up  
Raph: dude  
Leo: thats messed up  
Mikey: bro u cant talk u cheated during sorry  
Leo: y are we still talking about that  
Raph: cuz u cheated  
Leo: i put it behind me i think yall should to  
Mikey: i had to do ur chores for a week cuz u won  
April: wow  
Donnie: You seriously made a bet?  
Leo: perhaps  
Mikey: wow that was very unbuddy of u  
Mikey: i think leos outta the buddyship  
Leo: u cant kick me out i named it  
Donnie: I say we kick him.  
Leo: wow rude  
Raph: idk that seems kinda harsh  
Raph: tho he did cheat  
Leo: april cheated 2  
April: that was a long time ago an no one had to do my chores for a week  
April: we played sorry like a week ago  
Leo: ok sorry  
Leo: dont kick me outta the buddyship  
Mikey: do my chores foro a week  
Leo: no way man  
Mikey: then perish  
Raph: thats a little much  
April: phones about to die gtg  
Mikey: the buddyship meeting will continue later  
Raph: meetin ajorned  
Leo: srsly guys its not that big ofa deal  
Donnie: The meeting was adjourned.   
Donnie: The pizza also arrived, so we’ll continue this later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey: leo did all the yeeting i just did the eating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: I don't know much text slang since I usually text in complete sentences.

Leo: börther i require the öats  
Donnie: Are we out of Cheerios?  
Leo: yes  
Raph: it’s 3 am  
Leo: thirst has no curfew  
Mikey: sorry my b  
Leo: u ate them??  
Mikey: ye i was hungry  
Leo: u put the empty box back!  
Mikey: i was tired i didnt wanna find the trash int he dark  
Raph: mikey throw the box away  
Mikey: leos closer  
Leo: boi  
Leo: actually this is a perfect time to go this bitch empty yeet  
Mikey: yw  
Donnie: What was that crash?  
Leo: someone that def wasnt me yote to hard and knocked a pot of the rack  
Raph: u legit gave me a heart attack  
Leo: by u i think u mean mikey since he didnt yeet the empty bitch into the trash in the first place  
Raph: both of u  
Mikey: leo did all the yeeting i just did the eating  
Raph: that was super catchy  
Mikey: ikr  
Raph: we should make that a new song  
Donnie: We definitely should.  
Leo: yea it would definitely be a banger but i still want cheerios  
Mikey: that could be the title  
Donnie: Why are you so obsessed with cereal right now?  
Leo: my stomach was making the rumblies that only cheerios would satisfy  
Raph: well go back to bed cuz we dont have cheerios  
April: i have sum cheerios  
Leo: u do?  
Leo: can i have some?  
April: lol sure  
Leo: like rn?  
April: ye  
Leo: omw  
Raph: woah no ur not  
Raph: its 3 am its way to dangerous to sneak out now  
Mikey: can i come to  
April: of course  
Mikey: sweet thx  
Raph: were not supposed to be sneakin out guys  
Leo: i require the öats börther  
Leo: can we srsly come over  
April: ye  
Leo: ily and ur my fav  
April: i kno  
Donnie: Wait for me.  
Raph: all of u are seriously goin out rn for cereal  
Mikey: yea  
Leo: öats brö  
Raph: fine but im comin to  
Mikey: cool its like a cheerio party  
Mikey: aprils the besttt  
April: i kno  
April: just be quiet comin in


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo: well spoiler donnie dies in endgame  
> Donnie: I wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to end chapters.  
> And I've been out of ideas since chapter 2, so there's that...

April: guess who doesnt have school today  
Leo: people who work or r to young to go  
Mikey: dead ppl  
Donnie: Since you’re texting with us when you would normally be in second bell, I assume the answer is you.  
Raph: i was gonna say april but looks like don beat me  
Leo: if he beats u then u should talk abt it  
Mikey: u kno what im abt to say it  
Mikey: ur jokes arent funny 80% of the tim  
Leo: thx  
Raph: that wasnt a compliment  
Leo: well i took it as one so boom  
April: what are u guys doin  
Mikey: raph bet us $10 that he could stick his tonfa up his nose  
Leo: hes gonna do it  
April: y  
Raph: cuz i kno its gonna fit  
Donnie: It’s not going to fit.  
April: im with d  
Leo: deez nuts  
Mikey: o dang  
April: wow  
April: ngl i woke up five mins ago and im already tired  
Raph: sleep  
April: no i wanna ignore my responsibilities and look at old vines  
Mikey: mood  
Leo: in case u were feeling nosy,,,raph didnt get the tonfa in his nose  
Raph: i almost did  
Donnie: No, you didn’t.  
April: did u just say that  
Mikey: wut  
Leo: maybe  
Mikey: i s2g leo no  
April: stop the puns  
Raph: ^^^  
Leo: cash me ousside  
Leo: howbow dah  
Donnie: Can I bring the shock collar back?  
Raph: plz  
Leo: no i vote no  
Mikey: ye  
April: do it  
Donnie: Good, I’ve made some minor upgrades.  
Leo: we should really talk about this first  
April: we did and we said yeah  
Leo: lets change the subject  
Mikey: this subjects fine  
Leo: so have any of u guys seen endgame  
Raph: ur changing the subject  
April: ye  
Leo: well spoiler donnie dies in endgame  
Donnie: I wish.  
Mikey: stop spreading fake spoilers  
Raph: is everyone here okay  
April: oof no  
Leo: whats that and do i need one  
Raph: this went downhill quickly  
Leo: like my life  
April: mood  
April: also mikeys 100% the vine of the baby covered in peanut butter  
Raph: ur not wrong  
Donnie: He’s actually covered himself in peanut butter before.  
Leo: at first it was really funny but then he hugged me and it was gross  
April: y did he cover himself in peanut butter  
Mikey: i wanted to become ruler of the peanut butter  
Raph: u got peanut butter everywhere  
Donnie: It took forever to clean, and he wasn’t allowed to have peanut butter for a month.  
April: u guys are wild  
Mikey: seemed like the logical thing to do at the time  
Raph: pls never do it again  
Mikey: ill try  
Leo: it was a real sticky situation  
Mikey: its time to stop  
Raph: it really is  
Leo: yall act like my witty jokes arent hilarious  
Donnie: Now seems like an excellent time to try the shock collar.  
April: true  
Mikey: u should also work on the drill  
Raph: the drill was awesome  
Leo: maybe work on the drill instead of the anti joke shocky boi  
April: thats a long name  
Mikey: who would win? An anti joke shocky boi or one annoying cucumber boi  
Donnie: Sadly, the cucumber would probably win.  
Raph: lmao annoying cucumber  
April: discount annoying orange  
Leo: ill have u kno im name brand and very expensive  
Mikey: for real ur probably like $1  
Leo: im premium child  
Mikey: im not a child im one year younger  
Raph: ur rite  
Mikey: thx my dood  
Raph: ur a bab  
Leo: ohhh  
April: gotem  
Mikey: wow  
April: tbh mikeys a smol bean  
Mikey: im smol but im not a kid  
Leo: we never said u were a goat  
Mikey: i so am the goat  
Donnie: I’m the goat of the family.  
Raph: wouldnt that be goaf then  
Leo: dibs on goaf  
April: that sounds like a drug  
April: im the neighborhood goaf dealer  
Mikey: sounds more like a disease  
Leo: its the secret stage 8 of rat flu  
Raph: ew what would that even be  
Mikey: death  
Leo: must say no  
Leo: cuz its like the opposite of must say yes  
April: to the dress  
April: which i look great in btw  
Mikey: we all kno id look the best in a dress  
Donnie: Nobody thinks that.  
Leo: ykno there was a competition for fanciest article of clothing  
Raph: what  
Mikey: dont do whatever ur abt to do  
Leo: it was a tie  
April: we could really use that shocky collar right abt now  
Donnie: I’ll get it.  
Leo: and on that note im out


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo: if i drew on eyebrows would i look shrexy  
> Raph: everyday we stray further from god  
> April: plz never say shrexy again  
> Leo: ur just jelly bc im the shrexiest

Raph: idk who did it but whoever u are i wish u luck  
April: whats happenin  
Raph: donnie fell asleep and someone drew a mustache on him  
Mikey: does it look funny  
Raph: yeah duh  
Mikey: k that someones me  
April: hes gon kill u  
Mikey: ik but itll be worth it  
April: rip  
Leo: if i drew on eyebrows would i look shrexy  
Raph: everyday we stray further from god  
April: plz never say shrexy again  
Leo: ur just jelly bc im the shrexiest  
Mikey: ur not and y do u do this to us  
April: if i had money id pay u to stop  
April: wait nvm  
Mikey: i want money  
Mikey: pay me to stop somethin  
April: if u stop world hunger ill give u a dollar  
Raph: wow  
Raph: u sound like the state farm commerical  
Leo: i got u a dollar  
Mikey: u gotta be quicker than that  
Mikey: also the purse she got was ugly  
Raph: wat  
April: u remember the purse from the commercial?  
Mikey: ye  
Leo: he rite...the purse looks weird  
Raph: do u guys just watch insurance commercials  
Leo: and vine compilations  
Mikey: rip vine  
April: big mood  
April: do u still watch the can kid  
Raph: ?  
Mikey: oh stockboii  
Leo: u mean the can’t kid  
Raph: …  
April: ur like sans but not  
Leo: megalovania intensifies  
Mikey: can u just go one day without the bad puns  
Raph: and dad jokes  
Leo: yall love my oneliners  
April: u spelled hate wrong  
Leo: this is a lot of negativity guys  
Leo: can we try to be a little more hiv positive  
Mikey: bruh  
Raph: ^^^  
April: ^^^  
Leo: get it?  
Leo: well try not to get it i guess  
April: no one will find ur body  
Leo: more beautiful than i do?  
April: no just no one will find ur body  
Mikey: ominous  
Raph: yea that got dark quickly  
Leo: ykno what else gets dark quickly  
Raph: no and im fine keepin it that way  
Leo: tbh i dont have the rest of the joke  
Mikey: good  
Donnie: Who did it? I’ll kill you.  
Mikey: leo  
Leo: >:o  
Donnie: You used permanent marker!  
Raph: oof  
April: who needs netflix when somethings always goin down here  
Leo: i didnt do it  
Donnie: Where are you?  
Mikey: he ditched the scene of the crime  
Leo: mikey did it not me  
Raph: u better run  
Leo: i didnt do anything wrong but ill portal myself somewhere just to be safe  
April: watch him end up in like knockturn alley  
Raph: true  
Donnie: The mustache won’t come off.  
Mikey: im wheezing  
Raph: im pretty sure everyonoe can hear u laughing  
Raph: and mikey did it not leo  
Mikey: wow thx for selling me out  
Leo: yea thx for selling him out  
Donnie: Why’d you draw on my face? Why couldn’t you do it to Leo or Raph?  
Mikey: cuz u were asleep  
Mikey: an i needed a new screensaver  
Leo: now that my lifes not in danger i demand pics  
April: ye plz send pics  
Raph: matching screensavers  
Donnie: Delete it.  
Donnie: Delete it, or I’ll delete you.  
April: lmao  
Mikey: too late its already framed  
Leo: like u framed me  
Raph: ngl that one was pretty good  
April: yea  
Leo: thx see i knew my jokes r great  
Mikey: only some  
Leo: since some of my jokes r pretty cheesy i guess i could say theyre grate  
April: blocked  
April: one day imma block u  
Leo: do it  
Leo: imma bad bitch u cant kill me  
Mikey: yea i can  
Leo: i have the power of shaggy coursing thru my veins  
Raph: bruhhhh  
April: next time yall see draxum u should be like honey u got a big storm comin  
Mikey: and everytime someone gets hit we go oof  
Leo: just heckin tpose at him to assert our dominance  
Raph: hes old he wouldnt get it  
Leo: then its just natural selection at that point  
Donnie: The mustache is gone.  
Mikey: nooooo  
April: that took a long time my dood  
Donnie: It was a big mustache.  
Raph: it really was  
Donnie: Say your goodbyes to Mikey, guys.  
Leo: f  
Leo: later bro  
Mikey: oh no  
Raph: bye  
April: rip  
Mikey: help  
Leo: perish


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph: april could join our band and play the mayo  
> April: i rock mayo  
> Mikey: our band will be the best  
> Leo: that no one ever was

April: good morning gays lets get those A’s  
Leo: yas queen  
Donnie: Did you get an A on something?  
April: lol no i wish  
Mikey: ur smart ur gonna get an a  
April: thx my dood  
Raph: yea ur gonna get straight a’s  
Leo: lol straight  
April: when the a’s r straight bur ur not  
Mikey: lmao  
Leo: mayonnaise is so an isntrument  
Donnie: What does that have to do with anything?  
Leo: lmao reminded me of mayo  
Raph: april could join our band and play the mayo  
April: i rock mayo  
Mikey: our band will be the best  
Leo: that no one ever was  
Raph: can u pokemon go away with those jokes  
Leo: one day yall gonna realize im hilarious  
Donnie: I thought we established that I’m the funny one.  
Mikey: false im the funny guy  
Donnie: I’m a quadruple threat: strong, funny, amusing, and hilarious.  
Leo: but raph let u win  
Mikey: yea ur just a triple threat  
Donnie: But I’m still a threat, and that’s what matters.  
April: ur actually super nonthreatening  
Mikey: to u  
Mikey: sometimes he gets creepy mad scientist  
Raph: yea like he tranquilized me  
Leo: ur a bigger threat then him  
April: im smol but deadly  
Leo: and i have the power of god and anime on my side  
April: i can see u just swinging ur sword around and yelling that  
Donnie: He did, and he accidentally made a portal.  
Leo: i meant to do that  
Raph: u got stuck in a loop like the first time u used it  
Leo: which i meant to do  
Mikey: u were screaming a lot  
Donnie: I recorded the whole thing.  
Leo: i like screaming cant i like screaming gosh  
April: it gets weird if u do it in public  
Raph: r u speakin from experience  
April: perhaps  
Mikey: deets now  
April: idk when i was younger i thought it was cool to scream a lot in public  
Leo: lmao  
April: turns out it freaks ppl tf out  
Mikey: ill go out there and scream with u  
Donnie: I think that would make it worse.  
Raph: all of us can scream together  
Leo: and then we can make a music video  
April: a music video of us screaming?  
Mikey: id watch it  
Mikey: and speaking of scream does anyone else crave icecream rn  
Raph: well now i do  
Leo: creamed ice  
Raph: yea raph wants creamed ice  
April: raphs basically terry from b99  
Leo: explain  
April: buff boi who talks in 3rd person sometimes and likes yogurt  
Mikey: oh wow  
Donnie: Caesar wrote in third person.  
Raph: um wut  
Leo: whomst’d’ve?  
Mikey: y do u have so much random info  
Donnie: It’s not random.  
Mikey: u guys accuse me of being random but then donnie pulls this kinda stuff and u ignore it  
Leo: well yea donnie random is different from mikey random  
Raph: its like different brands  
Donnie: I’m the original, and Mikey’s the knockoff brand.  
Mikey: well then  
April: or were all great  
Leo: but im greater  
Leo: wait nvm im stronger than u  
Raph: thx for getting that song stuck in everyones head  
Leo: yw  
Mikey: like that one episode of spongebob  
Raph: the earworm one?  
Mikey: ye  
April: that song was really catchy ngl  
Mikey: wouldnt it be wack if like  
Mikey: a worm crawled into ur ear and just sat in ur brain controlling u  
Leo: no thatd be dumb  
Raph: yea that was just in a cartoon itd never happen  
Donnie: I think you watch too many cartoons.  
Mikey: no really like wouldnt that be creepy  
April: if it was real then yes  
Mikey: how do i kno im not controlled by a worm in my brain  
Leo: i dont think a worm would make u eat peanut butter with ur fingers  
Raph: y are u so caught up on that  
Leo: cuz it was disgusting and he wiped his gross spit peanut butter hands on me  
April: spit peanut butter hands arent real they cant hurt u  
Raph: lol  
Leo: u laugh cuz u didnt have to feel his warm slimy hands  
April: gross  
Donnie: Don’t traumatize us just because you were scarred.  
Mikey: dude chill it was just peanut butter  
Leo: mixed with ur spit and ur grubby lil hands  
Raph: grubby  
April: i think ur the only one who says grubby  
Mikey: my hands are grub free  
Raph: is grub a thing  
Donnie: It’s a beetle in the larval stage.  
Raph: ew  
April: did yall kno that gruntled is a word  
Donnie: Yes  
Mikey: wow look at someone changing the subject randomly thats not me  
Raph: is that the dragon in httyd  
Leo: whoa fake fan that’s a gronckle  
April: like disgruntled is dissatisfied and gruntled is satisfied  
Leo: so that hamilton song could be called gruntled instead  
Raph: pls dont ruin hamilton  
Leo: um its called enhancing thank u  
April: id be really disgruntled if u did that  
Mikey: we all would  
Leo: so yall upset about that but fine with raph not knowing the name of the dragon in httyd  
April: that was kinda disgruntling as well  
April: u guys are really disgruntling  
Raph: that doesnt sound like a word  
Donnie: You didn’t believe me when I said disestablishmentarianism is a word.  
Leo: imma be real with u don  
Leo: most of what comes out of ur mouth doesnt sound like real words  
Mikey: divide a whole into thirds thirds thirds  
Raph: stop referencing songs i have to many goin on in my head rn  
April: mood  
Mikey: oof the worms back then  
Leo: there arent worms in our brains  
Donnie: There can be. Parasites can enter your brain.  
Leo: ok conversation over


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey: what if 5 ppl got together and got high  
> Mikey: theyd be a high 5  
> Raph: ...ur rite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I had a lot of school stuff to do and sort of got blindsided with a surprise visit to the hospital, so I was out of commission for a few days. (And I still don't know what I'm doing, so I have no idea if this is funny or not, so sorry.)

Mikey: so u kno how birthdays are a ting  
Raph: ...yes?  
Mikey: what if instead of celebrating how old u are we celebrated how many years closer to death we are  
Mikey: like  
Mikey: we kno how many years until we die  
Mikey: so a first birthday would instead be like a celbration of 30 years until death  
April: y 30  
Mikey: cuz ppl die when they turn 30 duh  
Donnie: People can live over 30 years.  
Raph: ^^  
Mikey: o really  
Mikey: name 1  
April: my teachers are old af  
April: no way can they be younger than 30  
Leo: wait so u thought people just died once they turned 30  
Mikey: yea  
Leo: then raph has a midlife crisis coming up  
Raph: bruh no i dont  
Donnie: Hitler was 56 when he died, so he lived past 30.  
Leo: y do u that  
Donnie: Everyone knows that.  
April: i didnt  
Raph: same  
Mikey: dang he musta been wrinkly  
Leo: wait how old was einstine  
Donnie: I’m assuming you’re talking about Einstein, and he died when he was 76.  
April: how do u just know how old ppl were when they died  
Donnie: It’s just common knowledge.  
Mikey: its really not  
Leo: do shakespeare  
Donnie: I think he was 52.  
Donnie: Why don’t you just look it up instead of asking me?  
Raph: cuz its wild u kno these things  
Mikey: do me  
Mikey: how old was i when i died  
April: um…?  
Leo: 107  
Mikey: sweet imma live forever  
Raph: dont listen to him he has no idea  
Mikey: ur just jelly ur not gonna be 107  
Donnie: You’re probably not going to live to be 107. Leo’s just making it up.  
Leo: oh yea then howd u kno when all those ppl died  
Donnie: That’s just stuff you know, like the elements of the periodic table.  
Mikey: no one knos that  
Raph: stuff u kno is like 2+2=4  
Leo: actually its fish  
Mikey: where do u get fish from  
April: flip the 1st 2 and the 2s make a fish  
Mikey: o wow  
Raph: the more u kno  
April: im surprised yall didnt kno that one  
April: since leo probably says it all the time  
Leo: i try not to reuse old material  
Donnie: You told the same joke five times yesterday.  
Mikey: 6 cuz he tried to tell me twice  
Leo: well april and dad thought it was funny  
April: it was pretty good  
Donnie: It was mediocre at best.  
Raph: mediocre doesnt look like a word  
Mikey: petition to change it to meteorker  
Leo: now it looks less like a word  
Mikey: then what looks like a word  
Leo: bird cuz bird is the word  
April: i hate u so much cuz i keep snorting and the teachers staring at me  
Leo: lowkey the nicest thing someones said to me but okay  
Raph: u said that yesterday when mikey said hi  
Leo: o wut  
Leo: i thought he said high like he thought i was high or somethin  
Donnie: Were you?  
Raph: leo  
Leo: no  
Mikey: what if 5 ppl got together and got high  
Mikey: theyd be a high 5  
Raph: ...ur rite  
Leo: were 5 ppl  
Mikey: and like they all high 5 and they become a high 5ing high 5  
April: i leave for 3 secs and this is where the convo goes  
Donnie: You were gone for about two minutes, but yes.  
Raph: do u like have a timer with u???  
Leo: to count down til adventure time  
Leo: or else ur gonna have a bad time  
April: schools givin me a bad time  
April: yall so lucky u dont have to suffer with me  
Mikey: is it really that bad  
April: well i lost my will to live about the time school started but idk  
Raph: are u ok  
April: mentally or physically  
Raph: um both?  
April: no…  
April: but its all good in the hood  
Leo: u cant say that unless ur wearing a hood  
April: then its frickin gucci in the coochie  
Mikey: oh wow  
Donnie: I feel like you’ve been waiting to say that for awhile.  
April: perhaps  
Leo: i wanna say it but like can i  
Raph: uh i dont think u can bud  
Leo: air bud  
April: was such a good boy  
Mikey: wut do u mean was  
April: he died  
Raph: what?!  
Leo: take it back  
April: the dog who played air buds been dead for awhile guys  
April: he was also in full house  
Raph: ur jokin that dog cant die  
Mikey: that dog is eternal he transcends death  
Donnie: She’s right. He died about 20 years ago.  
Raph: no  
Mikey: i dont wanna live in a world without him  
Leo: still the goodest boy  
Raph: i dont kno how to take this information  
Mikey: i mean im pretty sure even april can hear u cryin but yea  
Leo: ur not crying?  
Leo: this is really messin me up  
April: oof i didnt think yall would take it this hard  
Raph: y wouldnt we this is really sad  
April: do u need a minute?  
Donnie: I think so, yeah.  
April: ok bye guys


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey: im serious someone help me  
> Leo: hi serious im dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating!

Mikey: help  
April: whats up?  
Mikey: i cant get outta bed  
Raph: just get up  
Donnie: It’s already noon.  
Mikey: no like i actually cant get up guys  
Mikey: i think leo put raphs weights on me and im stuck  
April: im sorry but thats hilarious  
Mikey: no its not someone pls help me  
Mikey: ive been trying to get up for hours  
Donnie: Can’t you just lift the weight?  
Mikey: boi what do u think ive been doin there heckin heavy  
Donnie: They can’t be that heavy if Leo managed to lift them.  
April: oof should i pick up some aloe for that burn  
Leo: at least im stronger than u  
Raph: did u have to use my weights like couldnt u have used somethin else  
Leo: no cuz that way i killed 2 stones with 1 bird  
April: killed 1 2 with bird stones  
Mikey: this is great and all guys but can someone help me  
Mikey: and raph are u more concerned with leo takin ur stuff then with him trying to kill me  
Raph: he didnt try to kill u the weights arent that heavy  
Mikey: im dying rn but i guess thats coolio  
April: use ur muscles child  
Mikey: kinda hard when 1 arm is trapped  
Leo: just trap the other one to its not that hard  
Mikey: im goin insane yall kno i cant sit still for that long  
Donnie: It adds to the comedy.  
Mikey: wow i kno who is no longer one of my top 3 fav bros  
April: am i still number 1  
Mikey: ofc  
April: ha knew it  
Leo: so im above donnie? Sweet  
Mikey: no ur all off the list until someone frees me from this heavy prison  
Donnie: I’ll let you out if I can take a picture first.  
Mikey: shell no just let me out  
Donnie: Fine, I’ll take a picture then leave you.  
Raph: wait i wanna come with  
April: i do to wait for me  
Mikey: seriously guys let me out  
Mikey: i wanna come out now  
Leo: i knew it  
Raph: we all love and support u buddy  
Mikey: :(  
Mikey: then let me out  
Leo: but its really funny  
Donnie: I just keep picturing you trying to lift the weight.  
April: lmao same  
Mikey: one day ill get back at all of u and u wont ever see it coming  
Mikey: watch ur backs  
Leo: dude im not an owl how am i supposed to do dat  
Raph: mirror duh  
Leo: but if hes a vampire i wont be able to see him  
April: first world problems right here  
Leo: actually  
Raph: oh gosh no  
Leo: were the third world from the sun so all our problems are third world probs  
Mikey: im serious someone help me  
Leo: hi serious im dad  
April: he walked right into that one  
Donnie: Can you let us enjoy this moment without you ruining it with your dad jokes?  
Leo: u spelled making it better wrong and no  
Raph: ok i guess we should let mikey out now  
Mikey: thx raph ur my other fav  
Mikey: guys i cant feel my right arm  
April: oof same but like cuz im to lazy to get off the couch  
Leo: big phat mood  
Mikey: raph where r u  
Raph: oh sorry bud donnie was showin me his drill  
Leo: what no dont show him without me  
Mikey: so u just forgot about me for a drill  
Mikey: i wanna see the drill let me out  
April: is this the drill yall keep talking about  
Raph: yeah its awesome  
Mikey: i wanna see it :(  
Leo: same dont let him put it away until im there  
Mikey: someone let me out  
Raph: wait im gonna ask donnie if we can drill into ur room to free u  
Mikey: i dont care just get me outta here  
Leo: no drilling until im there  
April: wait for me  
Mikey: no waiting just freedom  
Raph: the drill is so shiny i love it  
April: pro tip make urself shiny so ppl like u  
Leo: hurry were waiting for u april  
Mikey: and im waiting for all of u  
April: im like a minute away just chill  
Raph: donnies been monologuing for the past few minutes pls hurry up  
Mikey: and ive been suffering in my room alone  
April: just gimme a sec  
Leo: i have a lot of secs to give  
Mikey: oh no  
April: im ignoring that and im almost there  
Mikey: i can hear the drill starting from here  
Mikey: in my room alone  
Mikey: lowkey dying under some heavy weights  
April: well save u in a minute dude  
Mikey: ill just continue writing my will  
Mikey: btw yall get nothing  
Mikey: the drills really loud  
Mikey: are yall done yet  
Raph: dad said we couldnt drill to u :(  
Leo: on our way  
Mikey: finally


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donnie: Stay away from me, and don’t even think about grabbing that duct tape.  
> April: half of what u say sounds like the start of a weird tumblr story  
> Raph: half of what u say are quotes from weird tumblr stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing hasn't improved, and I still have no idea what I'm doing. (Don't mind me...posting two chapters and pretending I didn't disappear for awhile...)

April: i guess my next lover is morgan  
Raph: um?  
April: oh wait  
April: https://www.buzzfeed.com/seamusg/build-your-perfect-mcdonalds-feast-and-well-tell-q9un?origin=shp  
Mikey: are u really taking buzzfeed quizzes at 3 am  
April: obviously  
April: i guess i need to prepare for a marathon  
Raph: i got morgan to  
April: wow i thought morgan was mine  
Mikey: mom said its my turn with morgan  
April: lmao  
Mikey: wack i just got morgan to  
April: we need to find morgan  
Raph: finding morgan  
Leo: watch me get morgan to  
Leo: oof i did  
April: so all of us got morgan except for donnie  
Donnie: I got Tate. It says he’s adventurous.  
Leo: its not fair that donnie gets his own boyfriend and we have to share one person  
April: were taking another one this is fun  
April: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ggrace1807/this-quiz-will-reveal-if-you-are-more-of-a-vans-pe-bidqgsrsss  
April: converse or vans? im vans  
Raph: same but the descriptions off  
Raph: i think my heights above average  
Mikey: ill say boi ur tall  
Mikey: wait im vans to  
April: i dont think any of us like things in its perfect place oof  
Leo: converse baby  
Leo: lmao “a lot safer than most”  
April: one of them  
Mikey: one of them  
Donnie: I got Converse too.  
Leo: wow were the same  
Donnie: Stay away from me, and don’t even think about grabbing that duct tape.  
April: half of what u say sounds like the start of a weird tumblr story  
Raph: half of what u say are quotes from weird tumblr stories  
April: one more someone else pick  
Mikey: i found one and i gotta ask are u supposed to wash ur face  
April: um yes  
Donnie: Do you not wash your face?  
Mikey: no  
Raph: no  
Leo: ^^  
April: bruh i have to wash my face every day and i still get acne like wtf yall dont  
Donnie: I’m a little grossed out.  
Leo: watch out imma rub my uncleansed face on u  
April: ill spit on u if u do it  
Mikey: do it  
Raph: https://www.buzzfeed.com/evrivali/buy-some-office-supplies-to-find-out-which-charact-dhftq9zbyl  
Raph: michael scott im a humorous individual with a heart of gold and i cant make important decisions  
Leo: oof  
Leo: jim halpert  
Leo: im charming and funny but i already knew that  
Mikey: humble as always  
Leo: yeet cool without trying  
Donnie: I don’t think this quiz is very accurate.  
Leo: ur gonna be dwight  
April: im pam an im frenly an sweet  
Raph: u rite  
Mikey: im jim too  
Mikey: loving and approachable  
Raph: accurate  
Donnie: Apparently I’m Michael Scott.  
April: really  
Leo: u and raph are the same  
April: im tired but i wanna take more  
Mikey: sleep  
April: wait i found another  
April: https://www.buzzfeed.com/leliajeanette/build-the-coffee-shop-of-your-dreams-and-well-tel-6ph9lp3s98  
Leo: the first questions so hard like i like both  
Mikey: close ur eyes and pick  
April: Joeys my frendo  
Mikey: Rachel  
Mikey: i have a friend  
April: mood  
Donnie: I got Joey too.  
April: were all frens  
Leo: ross  
Leo: but science is lame  
Donnie: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.  
Raph: joey  
April: welcome to the gang  
April: joeys hoeys  
Donnie: That’s a terrible name.  
Mikey: its a great name  
April: boom  
April: k im tired im gonna go now  
Mikey: bye  
Raph: goodnight  
Donnie: Try not to die.  
Leo: awaken’t


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April: k hear me out  
> April: what if u went on american ninja warrior,,,and said ur thing was that ur all brothers who are also furries  
> Leo: im in

April: k hear me out  
April: what if u went on american ninja warrior,,,and said ur thing was that ur all brothers who are also furries  
Leo: im in  
Raph: so theyll think were wearing costumes  
April: ye  
Mikey: we should totally do it  
Raph: could we be called the mad dogs  
April: ofc  
Leo: turtely awesome  
Donnie: Why would we have to say we’re furries? Can’t we just pretend that we’re in normal costumes?  
Mikey: wheres the fun in that  
April: it would just be really funny if u all said hi were furries from new york and we wanna be on american ninja warrior  
Leo: that sentence was an emotional roller coaster  
Raph: wed be so good at it tho  
Mikey: i think id be the fastest of us 4  
Leo: bold of u to assume we wouldnt break ur leg to slow u down  
April: um what  
Mikey: u touch the leg u get the egg  
Leo: ill touch ur leg and ur egg  
April: this got weird  
Raph: uh huh  
Mikey: i really wanna do this now  
Leo: we could win some cash moneys  
Mikey: we could make it rain copper daddy  
Donnie: I said it one time.  
Mikey: and that was all it took  
Raph: what if draxum saw us on tv tho  
April: imagine him watching it and then trying to get on the show  
Leo: lmao we could break his leg too  
Mikey: since ur bones heal stronger than they were before a break, if we broke all of our bones would we grow mega bones  
Donnie: Please don’t pursue this idea.  
Leo: we should totally try it  
April: lets do it  
Raph: we could be unstoppable  
Leo: we could steal all the milk so wed have the strongest bones and we could stop crime and be the bone gang  
Mikey: all the villains would be to weak since they need sum milk  
April: wait id get to have some milk too rite  
Donnie: You can partake in the milk.  
Mikey: this is how we beat draxum  
Mikey: we make our bones too strong for him  
Leo: yup crisis averted  
April: can we steal ppls bones too?  
Mikey: y e s  
Leo: gimme ur bones  
April: well have all the bones and no one can stop us  
Donnie: If we stole bones, then we’d be thieves, and we would have to give our bones up.  
Raph: dang u rite  
Leo: but who would have the bones to stop us  
Mikey: wed be the bone bandits  
Leo: were the furry bone bandit brothers and we wanna be on american ninja warrior  
Raph: we could parkour on the way to get bones  
Mikey: theyd definitely want us on the show  
Donnie: They wouldn’t be able to have us on the show if we took their bones.  
Leo: stop ruining our plans with logic  
Donnie: We don’t have to steal everyone’s bones. We could just steal some bones.  
Mikey: i like the way u think  
April: time to take the bones and drink the bone juice  
Raph: what happens when were the last bone ppl left  
Leo: we fight to the death to be the bone master  
Mikey: dibs for april on my team  
April: wow i feel wanted what a twist  
Leo: what a mood  
Donnie: Can I join your team?  
April: we need him  
Mikey: true  
Mikey: join us borther  
Leo: raph we can so take em  
Raph: we can do it  
Donnie: I can build a bone extractor.  
Leo: i cant tell if ur serious and im a little scared  
Mikey: dibs on decorating it  
April: wow no fair i wanted to decorate it  
Mikey: we can both decorate it  
Leo: well were gonna get the victory royale even if yall have a bone extractor  
Mikey: we can use the bones to attract doggos  
April: imma get mayhem a fren  
Mikey: name the dog george  
Leo: name it junehem  
Leo: so then its april may and june  
April: so i have to get a dog for each month  
Mikey: name them all george  
Raph: but then if u called george a bunch of dogs would come  
Leo: imo george is a dumb name  
Mikey: blocked  
Donnie: I have the design for the bone extractor done.  
April: we can make bone meal with the extra bones  
Mikey: we should name at least one dog george  
Leo: the buddyship will decide i say ye  
April: sure  
Raph: just one  
Donnie: I really don’t care.  
Mikey: unblocked thank u


End file.
